A clear case of discrimination

Is it me or is technology getting too small to use?

Like many adults my age, I suffer from fat fingers. Truth be told, I’ve had them all my life. I’m therefore being squeezed out of the technological joy that is texting and to a certain extent, even ‘iPod Touch’-ing (as it were).

Maybe I feel left out. I feel aggrieved when I look around and see thin-fingered people furiously fingering their phones (so to speak – am I allowed to say such things ?) with expertise that confounds their apparent intellect (I didn’t say they were texting anything useful). I’ve had far too many sorry excursions into developing multi-line texts only to press the wrong button, cancelling and deleting the entire message. So, when I do text, it’s usually short – ‘OK’ or something. But I’ve already spent 15 minutes and as many expletives getting there. Even the iPod touch with it’s great ability to expand the virtual keyboard letters beneath my balletic finger movements cowers under the shadow of the fat finger brigade – choosing a random collection of letters which spell ‘help me’ in hexadecimal.

Yes we have predictive text (no doubt created by Mystic Meg) but I find it just about as useful as a torque wrench made of cheese (not of course parmesan, which is quite hard or brie, which is too soft. I was thinking more like Roquefort, which is just right). I find myself too tempted to accept the proffered word even if it isn’t what I want. I suppose you can use a stylus and that might indeed cause some amusement depending on where you choose to push it. And we now have voice activation but I fear that I am too self-conscious for that. People have been locked away for less.

I suppose I should count myself fortunate. I have been spared the terrible affliction of Compulsive Texting Disorder (soon no doubt to be a new mental illness), some awful repetitive strain injury (name one that isn’t awful) and, worse, corruption of the English language. Fortunate but, alas, I just feel left out. Now where did I put that disability benefit application form….’fat finger syndrome’ must surely be on the list of prescribed diseases….